tuesday.

i havent posted since monday because i spent most of tuesday and the first half of today in the hospital with my brother. he needed to have surgery done and gets panic attacks from the pain medicine so someone needs to be by his side at all times. i did the day shift and my mother the night. theres no point in sitting around and being bummed so at night i went out. in these situations there's a thin line between optimism and denial but im more then positive he'll be fine. so, i try to go about my business like always. all my friends back home cant hang out because they have jobs. all but spiro anwyay. he's rad.there isnt much to do in maryland on a tuesday night besides drink. so we did. in a park.whatever. it was either the park or one of those shitty red neck bars my pops used to take me to as a kid. talk about bad parenting. imagine walking into a bar at 2 in the morning and seeing a 6 year old in his pajamas (with the feet) playing table top pacman and drinking ginger ale out of a cocktail glass. that was me. id experienced racism, bar brawls, pissdrunks and drug deals all before i could multiply. i wish i was joking about this but im dead serious. i remember sitting in a holding cell once with my drunk dad while waiting for my mother to come pick us up. it was awesome. going to the bar was our little secret. my pops talked and treated me like a grown man. as much as i hated it at times im glad he did it. we grew up fast at my house. im not mad though. just look how well i turned out.ha!

always,
unemployed lloyd

ps. cross your fingers for my brother.