Saturday, June 30, 2007
alot of you were lucky enough to get my something special mix last year. however, before that was "sample and hold." they were pretty much the same with the exception of about 7 or 8 songs. basically two years ago i bought abelton and went re edit crazy for a month and decided to compile what id done in a mix for a trip to LA. anyway, here are a couple songs that did and did not make the final cut.
turn the music up
"i once went to sleep so drunk i pissed on the girl i was sleeping with. lucky for me i woke up before she did which gave me enough time to shower, change my clothes, get back in bed, wake her up and blame it on her. she was mortified and now when ever she knows im in or coming to the same club shes at she immediately leaves." -unemployed Lloyd
more mixes coming soon.
buying magnum condoms is one of the more humbling things i do from time to time. if i can, i aviod it at every cost. ill get someone else to buy them for me. it makes more sence to stand out in front of duane reade and pay a bum to do it. i know what youre thinking. me and my fucking problems right? buying magnums should be fun. a celebration on size right? wrong. instead i walk up to the counter and get sized up by the clerk on some "yeah right buddy" shit. its like buying liquor with a fake id. your palms are sweaty, your knees are shaking and eventually they end up selling you the liquor after a series of grilling questions but they never really believe youre of age anyway. assholes.
how you like it
"Look! im the poonabomber!" - unemployed lloyd
*thank you arab parrot
i would take a shower now but all the fuses in my bathroom are blown. ever take a shit by candle light? its so creepy. better yet, ever take a shit in the dark? its the worst. you cant see the toilet paper after each wipe so you cant really gauge how clean youre getting. you kind of have to wing it. sucks cus things like this encourage mud butt which is an entry onto itself. on the topic of mud butt, the reason you get it aside from not washing is because when you hold in a shit or piss your taint muscles like any other muscles begin to sweat. i didnt actually read that anywhere but i think its a pretty good assumption. correct me if im wrong.
"all women are crazy. dont think yours is? break up with her and watch what happens" - unemployed lloyd
it took me a little while to get out of the house today. starting a blog is not an easy feat. i had a long dinner with a former flame which means we ate dinner and i apologized for an hour after about how i fucked up. yea i know, fuck that! afterwards i went to savalas. the dj's were whatever but i managed to have my good time. im convinced at this point that all 99.9% of all dj's suck. i hate to be negative but when the best compliment you can give a dj is "he can mix" its time to switch it up. "He can mix" (i know i could have said "she can mix" instead of "he can mix" but lets be serious) is like some dude on jerry springer saying "i take care of my kids." your supposed to do that! Get the fuck outta here! anyway, GOOD VIBES ALL AROUND!
"black history month? sheeeeet! i wouldve much rather gotten the casinos instead!" - unemployed lloyd
Friday, June 29, 2007
what a weird night. i dj'd sober tonight which is a first in a long time. i think i may hop on the wagon for a bit. when your mom asks you whens the last time you stayed in at night and you reply febuary its time to switch it up. some dude came in the booth to give me "props" (couldnt spell the word i wanted to use) tonight. he said something along the lines of "good vibes man." it kinda startled me. i was like a dear in headlights when he said that. i wasnt sure if he was taking a piss at me or not. complements i can take but "good vibes man?" are you fucking serious? what do i look like? a fucking reggae dj? are there really people who talk like that and better yet are there people who can actually take "good vibes man" as a complement? get the fuck outta here! not to be outdone. the high light of my night came in the form or a guy in a wheelchair wildin' out to "walk it out." i almost didnt play the song for fear of looking like a total asshole but couldnt help myself in the end. it reminded me of this kid named russell me and my friends used to shit on in high school. he was in a wheelchair but he was also a huge asshole. we dubbed him ballstradamus and would fuck with him by telling him to "stand up for himself", "walk it off", or "roll out" when he was being annoying. one time he wanted to fight my friend martin. martin didnt give a fuck and with out realizing it asked russell to "step up." we all laughed. those were the days. i was such an asshole in highschool but...werent you?
"sorry but i dont do baltimore" -unemployed lloyd
is it just me or is this summer shaping up to be one of the best ever. dammit man! im young, i make a little bit of money so im entitled to a lotta bit of fun. why not start a blog?
This is UNEMPLOYMENT ENJOYMENT where what i say matters and its only news worthy if it happens to me. im on some new shit right now. musics not a priority on this blog unfortunately. however, i am. not to say i wont post any but its more then likely ill talk about myself. on unemployment enjoyment you will get your daily servings of comedy, bad spelling, music and racism. lots of racism. consistancy is key.
*a conversation with the ROC via text 6.28
me "fucking waitresses and their winehouse requests. get the fuck outta here"
me "next time someone asks me who listens to this shit im gonna tell them cocktail waitresses"
roc "hahahaha asshole!"
"its a mans world. thats why womans history month falls in the same month as colon cancer awareness" -unemployed lloyd